The Banquet Tears

Dug out Roger Shattuck's "Banquet Years", a terribly smart examination of that certain period we remember as the "Belle Epoque". Excess, ciggies, beautiful music, bearded men in striped swimsuits. Big moustaches. Weird inventions. Creepy bicycles. Wealthy sewing machine makers ordering harpsichord concertos for private puppet stages. As the 20th century grew colder, the moustaches, bikes, Hulots, hopelessly beautiful music went away, indignant, ironically, with a few raised eyebrows. We can find traces of these times on old records.

And just today I rediscovered some ancient songs by Edith Piaf

No, i won't mention "Je ne regrette rien" and other Big Pop Hits by this distinctive french singer (i honestly cannot stand them). Right now, I'm sitting in the semi-dark, it's one of these days when I'm terribly sad and I don't know why. I'm resisting to drown in a bottle of red wine. I'm just sitting, staring into the nothingness, while listening to early recordings of Edith Piaf.

It's jazz, very very blue jazz, combined with a hint of Belle Epoque funfair music. What is the opposite of funfair? sadfair? This music was recorded when Ravel was still alive, when WWII hadnt been unleashed.... and there is this song, "Mon Légionnaire", which happens to be the SADDEST song ever written, dramatic minor key, always tipping over to the major realm, thus tearing apart the soul of that lady.

she is singing about a one night stand with a soldier who "was small, beautiful and smelled wonderfully like the warm sand" ("sentait bon le sable chaud"), and she met him only once; in the second verse she is singing about the same soldier, who was "small beautiful, and they sent him under the warm sand" ("...mettait sous le sable chaud").

the first verse is a woman deeply in love, the second verse reflects relentless weeping, with resignation and dignity. and altogether, this is genius, and really moves me.

This is the one song that always makes me cry when I don't fight it. Tonight, I won't.